Hello! Longtime no see!

I really wish that I had the time and energy to post here like I used to . I really love Newgrounds but my schedule is so crazy these days that I never take the time to post anything anymore.

Art has been strange to me these days. I’m now 29 and I work in the art industry as a tattoo artist. All my life, like so many of us, an Artist is the number one thing we wanted to be when we were children. I am so happy and grateful to be in the position I am. I’ve worked hard to get where I am and I am proud of that.

however.

I struggle with chasing art as a career I think. It teeters both ways everyday. One week I’ll be so excited to be working on my tattoo stuff and my skill as a business. And then the next week I struggle deeply with the feeling of losing out on my old-style traditional work and feeling the freedom to make art out of the box. My “Diary-like” artwork.

The pressure I feel to have on my art and put a price on it all and tattooing in general and keeping up with clients and emails and messages, Working a second job twice a week as well just to make ends meet. All that and more has made me question the idea of an art career in general. I know I’m just being nostalgic to being free with my art, but I long for the days where I had infinite time to be totally free with my art and just throw something down on paper and simnply enjoy the process.

I miss the days I’d spend so many hours a day just trying to get better at my drawing, and traditional inking and my old manga work, instead of trying to get better at answering emails, trying to get better at forming a business, etc.

I miss it.

With the work I do, It’s increasingly difficult to carve out the time to work on my own personal artwork.

My personal work is my meditation, my source of self love and I am comfortable showing myself compassion there without stuffing my heart away. I can be myself there. I’ve been finding more and more time to do my own work and I’m excited to go back and practice plain ol’ fundamentals. In ways, I feel like I miss the artist I used to be. I am still that artist, but I wish I could dwell there more often.

At the end of the day, if you’ve read this far, I want to say that I love the relationship I have with art. It’s like 2 old friends not seeing each other for a long time and they come together and spend hours of quality time together.

I love art of all kinds and I’m happy to be able to make it for a living, no matter how hard it may be sometimes.

Anyway, sorry for the long, stoned, little vent sesh. I think about those that show their love for my work and i think about this community just about everyday.

I hope you’ve all been well and happy with where you’re at as an artist.